maki these days {hey y'all!}

Hey there! Still here? Sorry for the long hiatus, I don't have much of an excuse other than I didn't really feel like writing. The long truth is, my laptop is hanging on to life and power by a thread, so I don't move it from my desk. My desk sits near a window, and it's been pretty cold here in Wisconsin. So I just didn't feel like sitting at my drafty desk to type. But know that I think of blogging on the daily. {I even started a draft on my tablet... tablet posting isn't my thing.} Now that's it's warmed up {for now} here I am!

Anywho, I want to talk about Maki for a bit. He's this awesome little being who takes up all of my time and yet, I get so caught up in the home-y posts, that I neglect to talk about my original inspiration for starting this blog. So, I'll probably be a little bit all over in this post, but bear with me.

Staying home with Maki is one of the best decisions I've ever made. I can't imagine not being able to experience all of the awesomeness that he is growing into every second of every day. He is twenty-two months old now. Did I mention he's awesome? He's so smart, and expressive. I don't really have a word count, but he can say a lot of words and express his own ideas and wants. He wakes up every morning with a big smile on his face. I never know what his first word of the day will be. It might be "morning," in response to my "good morning" or "tov" in response to Papa's "boker tov." Or it could be a lingering thought crashing in from the dream he was just having: "Phant!" {elephant}, "Side!" {outside}, "Cup!" Or it could be a demanding directive to get the day on its way: "Potty!", "Coffee", "Elmo!", "Toons!" {cartoons}. Either way, he never fails to bring a smile to my face first thing in the morning.

Maki is a sweet but cunning little guy who has already mastered the art of using kisses and hugs as bribery ammo. A few days ago, he told me I'm his "favorite mama". He has a running "joke" where he calls for me, and when I answer he says, "BANANA!" He does it to his dad too. It's hilarious, because he does it at such random times it catches us off guard.  

He loves watching PBS Kids in the morning. I had all of these ideas about how little TV time my child would be allowed before I became a parent... and then I became a parent {and it's Wisconsin winter}. But really PBS isn't too bad. He loves Thomas the Train, Sesame Street, Curious George, Super Why and Daniel Tiger has recently made the cut. I enjoy watching the programming with him as it's very nostalgic for me. I grew up watching Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood {which is why I can't really get down with Daniel Tiger}. He also enjoys watching the local news and Judge Judy. Blame Mama for those.

Maki is obsessed with all things vehicles. Cars, trucks, motorcycles, airplanes, trains, tractors. If it's got wheels, he's into it: toys, books, shows, you name it. He loves to point out fire trucks, school buses, city buses and the different types of construction trucks when we're out running errands. I'm so amazed at his deep interest in vehicles. It makes me wonder if he'll keep and grow this interest into a passion later on in life. {cough! engineer? cough!}

Maki also enjoys reading {even books about things other than cars}. Of course he loves being read to. But recently I've discovered him babbling into books by himself. I was super excited to witness this as it puts us one step further on the path of developing a little book worm.

He's at that Independent stage that toddlers go through. It's charming and annoying all at the same time. Sometimes Mommy just wants to get something done and over with, but Maki insists on doing it himself. He gives it a few tries, gets frustrated, refuses my help and then looks up with those pretty browns and says, "help me please!" Love him. But to his credit, he can do a lot of things by himself. He can feed himself; drink from a cup, thermos, and water bottle; he can go to the potty all by himself, he knows how to clean up his toys, re-shelve his books, and he's always Mommy's little helper during my own chores.

Along with the Independent stage comes the Defiant stage. He's made "no" one of his favorite words. Seriously, I'm so tired of begging this little boy to do the simplest things. But it's like he gets a kick out of the fact that "no" actually means something. He's learned that he can essentially pick and choose what he will and won't comply with. Ugh. Why couldn't he learn "yes" first?!

Anyways, there's about Maki. I'll be back soon.

ello guvnah... {and president}

This past Tuesday Maki and I had the awesome opportunity to hear President Obama speak! The President visited Milwaukee to campaign for gubernatorial hopeful, Mary Burke. {Of course she spoke too. But that's only significant if she wins, right?}
I was a little apprehensive about the entire experience from the onset. First off, I hate lines and I hate crowds. I was nervous about how he would take to so much happening around him. Well I shouldn't have been nervous at all. My little guy is a trooper. We waited two and half hours in dropping temperatures and spent another two hours inside the event. Maki behaved better than I ever could have expected.

The weather has been pretty moody in Milwaukee the past few weeks. Fall is trying to hang on while Winter seems to be gaining turf. Tuesday was a warm Autumn day, riding the unseasonably high temps from Monday but as the sun dipped off into the cityscape it took all traces of warmth with it. Luckily for us, I had decided I would wear Maki during the event. I don't babywear much at all anymore. Maki has long outgrown his strappy carriers, and he's pretty much at the weight limit of the Moby wrap. {I've been begging Daddy for a toddler back carrier. The older Maki gets, the harder it is to justify the purchase.} Not to mention, he's so active I couldn't imagine a time when I'd need to wear him besides to an event like this one. But knowing that I'd be attending alone, strollers weren't allowed and there was no limited seating, I figured I'd better bust out the Moby and do my best with it. {Daddy joked that, Makis is so big now, I'd be strapping a man to my chest. Har har har!}
It was the perfect decision. The body heat kept both Maki and me warm as we waited in line. Maki being so close to me, kept him calm and gave him refuge from squealing admirers. And I did not have to deal with trying to chase, arm-carry, or keep up with a toddler. I was even able to breastfeed him in line and at the event without anyone even noticing.
Though, I must say that those hours of toddler wearing definitely took a toll on my body. By the end of the night, my legs were all wobbly and my biceps were super tight. When I laid down to sleep I could already feel my legs stiffening. The next day I woke up feeling like I had done an extreme total body workout--which I guess technically I did. Even my abs were sore.

Long lines, cold weather, achy body aside--I'm really glad I took Maki to see the President speak. I'm not really one to get star struck. And when faced with the aforementioned conditions, if making a decision for myself, I'd rather stay at home in my warm bed crocheting and watching Damages {my current Netflix binge}. I can catch the sound bites on the ten o' clock news. But this was another time where I felt that this opportunity wasn't for me. It was for my son. I took pictures, captured videos and have the ticket stub as a memento so that when Maki is older, he can look back on these things and know that he saw the President of the United States in person {whether he remembers it or not}. Not many people can say that.

Did you know:
You can request a greeting card signed by the sitting President to celebrate your baby's birth.

Maki's Presidential greeting from The Obamas.

Click here for more information.

P.S.- Tuesday was also Maki's half birthday! Happy 18 months, Maki!

the haps

Hey there! It sure has been a while since I last wrote. The time goes by so fast, and the guilt builds walls so high. I think I'm still struggling fiddling with the focus of this blog. So until I find it, I hope you enjoy my shifting interests, babblings, and ramblings.
Here's a quick update on what's been happening in our lives: not much! I spend my days singing and dancing to keep Maki happy; cooking and cleaning to keep Husband happy and eking out a little me-time in between to keep Mama sane.

Happy Fall! Dear Summer has gone with no hope of its lingering around in this part of the country. We had a fun, but overall uneventful summer. It was fun playing and exploring outside with Maki everyday. Each day brought us new adventures and discoveries. While Maki was discovering the elements and bustling world around him, Mama was re-discovering all of the many things that we adults take for granted. {When was the last time a fire engine's horn put a smile on your face?}
We spent a lot of time going to the city parks, in our backyard and going for neighborhood walks. Even the days, when I'd rather just lay around in bed, I forced myself to get up and out of the house for Maki's benefit. It's a constant reminder that my life is no longer mine alone. I have to be cognizant that everyday is an opportunity to color and shape my little guy's world. I'm sure I'll need even more reminding of this as the temperature continues to drop around here.

Maki Updates:
We went to NYC to visit my family in July. Maki is a true blooded New Yorker. Something about that city makes him come alive. He's so at home there, it warms my heart. While in New York, Maki had his first accident and subsequent hospital visit! He was running in the apartment, slipped on a rug and busted his teeth through his lip. He had to get four stitches! We're still a bit shell shocked about it. Every time he runs, I imagine him toppling face first. It doesn't help that he has indeed toppled face first a few times since the incident, scoring him bloody gums and a busted lip. It's so scary. I'm just like, "How am I supposed to keep you alive for eighteen years!?" Everyone else, is just like, "Oh, girl, this is the first of many." 

Maki still breastfeeds. He eats some solids, but I'd say his diet is about 70/30 breast milk to solids. I'm really proud that we've been able to breastfeed this long. Even though at times (mainly in the middle of a sleepless night), I kind of wish we done or on our way to being done. But I can say that I truly enjoy it. I'll probably be sad when it ends, but for now as long as I am able to be blessed to continue breastfeeding, I will. I hope that he weans himself, because I don't even have the energy to take his "bobby" away from him.

We've been potty training. No pressure, just introducing him to the pot, and encouraging him to voice when he has to go. He's coming around, but like I said, we're not pressuring him.

Well that's the latest around here. As Fall begins to settle in for good, I'll be looking for fun indoor activities to keep us busy on days when it's too cold to go outside. Hopefully I'll find some fun things to share with you here.
Post soon.

photo challenge: week twenty-one

Okay so I'm cheating a bit this week because I really want to stick to my schedule. Today is photo challenge Friday and I've been busy running errands and doing chores all day. Now here I am, trapped underneath sleeping Maki. I dare not get up to go the computer. So I am posting from my phone. And as any new mom can tell you, my phone gallery is pretty much all Maki. 

As the weather has been warming up lately, Maki and I have been venturing outside. He loves outside. This week has been rainy, but Maki didn't let that stop him. We spent some time poking around outside of the house. 

And so for my photo this week I present, Maki. 

maki's birth story

I began writing Maki's birth story as a journal entry back in December. I wanted to share it here on my blog to mark my little man turning one year old this past Monday. Happy Birthday Maki!

I've been thinking about Maki's birth story a lot lately. I think I am ready to write the experience. I've been avoiding writing it for so long because I just didn't want to think about it. For me, it was just one undesirable change after another. It's hard to make sense of such negative feelings surrounding what should have been one of the best and happiest days of my life. I feel so guilty to say that it wasn't. It feels like a slight against my son, but it isn't meant to be that. Of course my son is the most perfect love I have ever felt. And I am truly blessed to have him come to me a happy, healthy baby. But his birthday just was not a good day for me. After a seemingly perfect pregnancy, to end-up on an operating table, cut open--ugh... I don't even know how to finish that sentence. It just hurts. 

We went for our weekly appointment with Ali, our midwife Friday April 26th. I was two days overdue according to the April 24th due date that we had been basing my progress on--so 40 weeks 2 days. I felt fine, and didn't really expect any news or progress, as my husband and I held to the idea that the baby would come closer to the due date that lined up with conception, not size. So some time in the first week of May. After taking my blood pressure, Ali informed me that my pressure was concerningly* high and I'd need to go to the lab to have blood drawn and analyzed that same day. We did. Although I was alarmed, I still felt fine and felt like this was just Ali being cautious as her profession often requires of her. But there was a tiny bit of confusion/worry because I felt like Ali was a lot more worried/concerned than she let on. But I wanted to keep positive and besides, the statistics were on my side. I'd eaten healthy and took care of myself during my entire pregnancy. I was seeing a midwife who out of thirty odd homebirths had only had to transport to the hospital four times. Surely I wouldn't be added to that list. Wrong. 

When the labs came back indicative of pre-eclampsia, I was told we needed to pack up and head to the hospital. This was Saturday morning. Ali and Erin, her assistant, came over to break the news to us. That's kind of the point where I turned off. At that point our plan, everything we had been looking forward to, the pre-laboring at home, the homebirth, privacy, intimacy, it was all gone. I turned off--for me uncertainty became reality. Now that we were going to the hospital, anything could happen. When I say, "I turned off," what I mean is I resolved myself to accept what would be necessary, and push the "should have beens" aside. Just don't think about. Of course the rational, logical side of me was still on, but I truly checked out of the experience emotionally. 

When we got the hospital we learned that we were going to induce labor using Cervidil, a cervical suppository that would allow for me to move around and labor freely. However, since we were dealing with my blood pressure being elevated, that really wasn't the case. I spent most of the time laboring in bed. Because, even though standing, moving and changing positions felt better and made labor easier for me, it sent my blood pressure through the roof, so I basically needed to remain lying down. We did three rounds of Cervidil, with very minimal effect. I was contracting, my cervix was effacing, however it was not dilating...pretty much at all. Ali and Erin met us at the hospital and were there for support in a doula capacity. A few hours into labor, I guess it was the middle of the night some time (labor having started at 2:30PM) Ali suggested I try the birthing pool. I had looked forward to laboring in a pool, but in reality, the reality I found myself in, it was a cold, uncomfortable, unpleasant fail! I just wasn't happy, so I wasn't excited about it. I was in pain and tired. And although the water was warm, I was just cold and wanted to curl up in my warm bed underneath the blankets. Not to mention, when I did get out of the tub, after about an hour, my blood pressure was through the roof. Not a good move. 

After getting out of the pool, I labored in bed all through the night. No sleep, no progress. When Doctor B. came the next morning, he suggested breaking my water to perhaps help bring the baby down. I felt like we were just going down the disaster check list. Everything that I did not want to happen was happening to me. It seemed like I was on a sure course to a C-Section. but I still held out hope that the induction would end in a vaginal birth. So we agreed to break my water. Well that didn't "work" either. Our next and last option was to try Pitocin. After  twenty hours of induced labor, exhausted doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I was through! But I still wanted to deliver vaginally, so I agreed to the Pitocin and gave-in to the epidural. I wanted to get some rest and recharge so I would be able to push and deliver when the time came. 

Well after the epidural, I was able to sleep and rest through Pitocin induced contractions. I felt better, but I felt defeated inside. Still, I held out hope for the chance to deliver vaginally. Only every time the doctor came in for a check, there was no progress being made. In the span of twenty-four hours I had dilated only four centimeters, three of which were pretty much stretched by the doctor during his checks. The baby was beginning to get a cone-head from trying to squeeze through too small of an opening--my window of time had pretty much expired. The baby needed to come out. I would be having a C-Section. 

From the time it was decided that I'd have a C-Section to the time I held my little guy in my arms all felt like a matter of ten minutes. It was quick. Done. Over. "Here's your baby." 

Despite all that did and did not happen over the previous twenty-four hours, holding the being that had lived and grew inside of me the past ten months meant everything. It didn't matter how he got to me. I wouldn't hold that against him. What mattered was that I was finally looking into his little face...as he was peeing in mine.


*I make up words all the time. You get the point.

i'm back

It seems I have taken quite the break from blogging, even allowing myself to fall off from the photo challenge. Well I'm back and re-recommitted. :) I was away pursuing the possibility of returning to work. However, long story short: it wasn't my time. In addition to many other factors, I was getting quite nervous and anxious about being separated from my little man. So while I won't be returning to work, I am relieved that I'll continue to stay at home with Maki.

Speaking of Maki, we are one week away from his first birthday! People always say, "oh it goes so fast," but for me it hasn't really. This year felt exactly a year long! And what a lovely year it has been. Maki is walking, saying a few words and babbling a ton. He has four fully emerged teeth and four half teeth pushing their way through. We're still breastfeeding, but he does eat some solids. He nibbles off of our plates and his favorite things to eat are yogurt, oranges and veggie sticks. He loves trucks and balls and bath time and books. His favorite book is, Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? by Dr, Seuss. He loves all of the silly sounds Mama makes when reading it. And now that the weather is half way decent, he loves spending time outside. He's developing into such a little person, and it's amazing to watch.

Next week, in honor of my little man turning one, I'll share his birth story. I've been working on it for quite a while as some parts have been difficult for me to revisit. However, I am excited to get it finished and share it here with you.

catching up with the joneses

We're not the Joneses but you get the point. 
Okay okay, I know I haven't posted in quite some time. It's not for lack of content, I actually have possible blog topics run through my mind quite often throughout the day. The problem has been that I kinda don't have time. This may sound weird considering I'm a stay at home mom, but it's true. My "me time" is made up of stolen moments in between chores, Maki's naps and Daddy time. {break for cranky, teething Maki}
But here's a quick update of what's been the haps' 'round here:
Maki is nearing 9 months! So awesome. He's a super crawler. He pulls himself up to standing. He's beginning to let go just long enough to realize he's standing on his own and panic. He has 2 and 2 halves teeth {bottom two are completely in, top two are still coming in}. He's super active. He loves his activity table. We jokingly call it his deejay table because he loves the music mode and when he's on it he looks like a deejay playing a set. He's still breastfed {not technically exclusively, but pretty much exclusively}. We are still trying to introduce solids. He's not too interested in food. He just wants to be included in what we're having at the dinner table. He likes apples, oranges, veggie chips {and chicken bones}. He doesn't really like purees. He did them maybe for a week or so, and then was over it. So the Baby Bullet is basically Mommy's smoothie maker. We're still gluten, egg and dairy free. We are thinking of making our way to the meat free side as well, but for now we're just limiting our meat to no more than 4 times a week.
I think this about catches us up, I am committing myself to do a written post at least once a week. So be back soon!

gift of life

My son, Maki has been a gift to me in many ways. Aside from the obvious, one of the many gifts Maki has given me is, life itself.
I used to smoke cigarettes before I was pregnant. I was never a heavy smoker, and for that reason I used to tell myself that I wasn't addicted and that I could quit whenever I wanted. Well, funny thing is, I had wanted to quit for YEARS!!! But truth is, I was addicted and in denial. It wasn't until I was pregnant that I was able to accept that I was addicted and really needed to quit. I didn't need to quit for me- I'd had my chance at that, and clearly I wasn't enough motivation for myself. But I needed to quit for my baby. I knew this from the day I found out I was pregnant.
I would love to tell the awesome tale of how I found out I was pregnant and never touched another cigarette... but I'd be lying. What I did do was set a deadline. I gave myself two weeks to quit. Then extended those two weeks another two weeks. Then extended those two weeks a day at a time until finally, I had enough. I knew I was doing it again: lying to myself. I had been decreasing the number of cigarettes and eventually puffs per day I was having, and therefore allowing myself to smoke past my deadlines. I was so disgusted with myself. Me, who wouldn't even smoke around children, smoking with a child in my belly. It didn't make sense.
So one day when I got the urge to smoke, instead of heading out to have a puff I told myself, "I'm stronger than tobacco. This is the first thing I'm doing for my baby." And here I am, a little over a year later without even the slightest urge for a smoke, fresher breath and softer lips. I have Maki to thank for that. He was my motivation when I couldn't be. Quitting smoking adds years to one's life; he did that for me.

postpartum weight loss

One of my long held fears about getting pregnant was that I'd put on weight and never be able to get it off. I'm not much of a work out buff. I'm more of the damage-control type. I do enjoy working out, but my motivation is limited to when I'm tipping the scale too far to the right. During my pregnancy, I put on 60 pounds! {wow it's crazy just even thinking of it} I lost 40 pounds to birth and baby, leaving me 25 pounds heavier than my normal weight. {I had a 5 pound head start} I figured, I'd lose some by breastfeeding, and the rest I'd work off as soon as I healed from my c-section.
Well, as time went on, I realized and decided that weight loss wouldn't be a priority for a long time. I was more concerned with learning how to be the best mom to Maki that I can be. If that meant I'd be a little heavier than I'm used to for a little longer than I'd like, then so be it... the gym will be there when I'm ready. Now, that's not to say I didn't bemoan the body staring back at me in the mirror. Actually, to be honest, for a while I avoided full body mirrors. But anyways, my point is, I haven't actively been trying to lose any weight. However, the scale has tipped in my favor! Six months postpartum I'm down 20 pounds and back in my pre-pregnancy clothes. {bells ring and a choir sings somewhere on God's green Earth}
In a weird twist of fate, I have Maki's eczema to thank. It's his eczema which requires us to be on a gluten, egg and dairy free diet, which basically eliminates most of the usual suspects housing empty, hidden and excess calories, carbs and fat.
So, now that the hard part is done, it's time to add exercise to my daily routine. Even though I've lost most of the weight, my shape has changed and I'm a lot looser in places I'd rather not be. {namely, gut, butt and thighs}I haven't quite worked up the strength to be away from Maki yet, so I probably won't be making it to the gym anytime soon. But I've started this 24 day ab blaster as a way to get in the game. It's not much of a workout, but at least it's a start and I figure it'll help me to strengthen my abdominal muscles before beginning a hardcore workout.

I'd love to hear from you. What do you think? Do you enjoy working out? What are some ways you manage your weight?

six month check up

Last week was our 2 year wedding anniversary. To celebrate, we took Maki for his 6 month well visit. Isn't parenthood sexy!

My guy weighs 20 pounds and  measures 30 inches long. Yay breast milk. He had his first set of vaccinations, as we're on a delayed schedule. He took them like a champ. Maki's such a tough little guy. 

on maki's menu: preparing sweet potatoes

With Maki soon entering his 6 month, it's time for us to start making the transition to solids. He's been exclusively breastfed (chest bumps myself in the mirror) up until now which according to the American Academy of Pediatrics is the best start a mother could give her baby.
While I love breastfeeding and am extremely happy that I was able to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, we're really excited to be entering the world of solids. Maki's getting quite aggressive with the attacks and lunges for our plates; and Daddy is excited to be a part of the feeding process.

So, in my excitement and preparedness, I decided to bust out the baby bullet steamer that we received at our baby shower, and prepare a sweet potato puree. True to the advertisement, it was so easy and quick. Just peel, cut, steam, puree. And thanks to the baby bullet system (processor and steamer), I'll be able to provide Maki with the better choice of solids: fresh, additive free fruit and vegetables as opposed to the relatively costly and less nutritious jarred stuff.

What do you think? Homemade baby food: Not worth the time or a penny saving must?

meet maki

My son, Maki, will be 6 months next week. He's full of personality already and such a joy to be around. He's working on sitting up independently and crawling. Watching him learn and discover his body and its functions reminds me on a daily basis that we humans are just animals. I know that's kinda weird to dwell on, but I'm weird and all introspective like that. From his acute sense of smell to his dogged inchworm half crawl, Maki reminds me daily how we'd be screwed in the wild how delicate and precious life is.

Becoming a mom is one is one of my many reasons for starting this blog. I want to share this new experience and in the process document a sort of memoir that maybe one day Maki or a nostalgic me can look back on. I struggle with deciding just how much personal information to share on the internet; and I still haven't made a determination on publishing pictures of Maki here on this blog. But bear with me, hopefully the content of my posts will prove interesting enough to stand on their own.

hi there

Hi readers, thanks for joining me! Let's skip the lengthy introduction and keep this first post short and sweet. Pretty much anything I should be telling you here, you'll learn as you stick around with me. So I hope you enjoy the good and bad, ugly and beautiful, messy and clean, wins and fails, fun and not so fun times ahead.